real person fic
television & movies
odds & ends
→ Lost Boys by thisisnotwhoyouthink, loki + avengers + mild background canon pairings, pregnant!loki, 59k
When Loki is captured by Shield, they discover a dark secret between Loki and Odin. A different take on Loki's 'monster' kids.
Chapter 01-18: I am going to get the caveats out of the way before moving on to the rec proper. With this fic, you have to just accept a few things before you start--this is movieverse, but it draws from mythology. Odin is a collossal dick in this story. And Loki's kids are all ones he was the mother to, rather than just Sleipnir. You just roll with it. That said, holy shit, this fic sucked me in and wouldn't spit me back out, not until I'd read all 18 chapters that were available at the time of the rec, not until it'd consumed me while it had me in its grips. It's a combination of things, but largely that this fic played on my emotions beautifully, where Loki's children are returned to him one by one, and you understand just how deep the loss of them cut him and just how much he truly loves them. The characterization might not work for everyone, but I read between the lines that what was done to his children was a major exacerbation on his sanity and, with lives to care for that he truly wants to protect, his focus is shifted enough to make some major differences. For all that, though, I recognized this Loki very well--he's still acerbic, he's still clever with words, he's still as sharp and cutting as ever. And I am allllll the way onboard with Loki actually being really good with kids and, oh, it is so good to see him interacting with his kids and you can feel what a difference he wants to make in their lives.
I can't lie, I originally picked up this fic with the hope of getting maybe some Thor/Loki implications, but... the more I read, the more it didn't ultimately matter (and I don't think they'll head in that direction here) because Thor obviously cares very deeply about his brother and that emotional connection between them is what I really wanted. But it's more than that, too. Loki and his kids. Loki with the other Avengers, that he's forced to ask for asylum with. Loki's kids with the other Avengers. Loki's kids with each other. Their slowly blossoming individual personalities. All of it is built up gradually and is so good for me, because there were moments when I totally nearly got a little misty-eyed. Yes, I'm weak to kidfic, but the writing of this is really solid once the fic gets going and it played on my emotions in exactly the ways that it was supposed to, it built up this gorgeous story of Loki and his kids and their expanding world, it showed me all these amazing little scenes with the kids being smart little bastards or interacting with Steve and Tony and Natasha and Bruce in really sweet and often heartbreaking ways. It's... one of those fluffy angst stories? Or maybe angsty fluff stories? I'm not sure, but it really, really worked for me and I just could not put it down this afternoon.
Chapter 19: Oh, this fic continues to be so very good for me. Loki with his kids and the slowly forming relationships with the other Avengers are a delight, especially when Loki and Bruce form a bit of an unlikely friendship and Loki is actually... well, not precisely nice, but this Loki is more caring (now that he's got his kids back, which I can believe was a lot of the reason he was so angry and bitter) and genuine. Loki and Bruce teaming up to dick around with Tony is A+++++ because Tony deserves it and then PEPPER IS AMAZING and I wish she were in the fic more. Not a lot actually happens in this chapter, it's more about the ever-widening scope of their world (including mentions of the Fantastic Four) and the kids starting to relax a bit, but it was still an incredibly welcome update.
Chapter 20: This chapter... in a lot of ways, this chapter is the epitome of everything I would want to say about this fic. Its main focus is on Thor having a conversation with Loki about everything that's going on with them, about Loki's kids and why they don't seem to like Thor, about Loki's plans for the future, about their past in Asgard. And I look at this chapter and think, goodness, this Loki is so much softer and gentler than the Loki I usually seek out. He's sort of forgiving and in a good mood here! He's settled and balanced and caring. Oh, he still teases and has his secret smiles and only gives away what he wants to, but he is much softer here and yet... it works for me, to the point that this chapter nearly brought tears to my eyes, for how well the author played on my feelings for the character and all the shit he's been through, all the bitterness that he's let go of because he has his children back and where he wants to go in the future. This author somehow sells me on all of this and it might not be for everyone, it's definitely a warmer and fuzzier approach, but the feelings are no less intense for it, especially when, yes, the conversation touches on what assholes all of Asgard were to Loki and gives some satisfying resolution to the events that have led them up to this point. And I say this chapter is the epitome of this fic because I think it's the perfect example of what this fic does to me/my feelings and also it's the perfect chapter for whether or not you vibe with this story. p.s. Loki's kids are the cutest things ever and I looooooove kids, fuck anyone who doesn't understand my love for them. p.p.s. Thor really is a giant sweetheart and I love him, too.
Chapter 21: Ahhh, this epilogue to this story is so cute! I'm sad to see this fic go, of course, but it was a very satisfying fic overall and it ended well and it was just... pure sunshine and warmth, as Loki finally has his latest kid, a little baby girl, and their family is complete. This chapter is set from Jorgumand's point of view, so it's much cuter and sweeter than even the previous chapters, but it's so darling! And the author even works in a visit from Hela, which I was delighted to see! I enjoyed how there was an almost otherworldly feel to her (given that she's dead and all), I enjoyed the kids starting to learn even more about magic now that Loki's magic was coming back to him, and I just. Enjoyed that this epilogue made me happy.
→ Tricksters and Treats by thisisnotwhoyouthink, loki + peter parker + children, references to pregnant!loki, 4.9k
A halloween special in the Lost Boys universe, Enjoy!
Well, I certainly pounced on this fic as soon as I saw it had been posted! There are some typos in the fic, you can tell it's not quite as polished as the author's writing usually is, but it's very solid and so, so enjoyable. The entire thing is pretty much pure cuteness and sunshine, as Loki's kids show up on Peter Parker's doorstep (having been directed there by Tony Stark, who refuses to take them trick or treating) and he takes them out on Halloween night. I don't think I stopped grinning the entire time I was read, because these children are precious (precious little fuckers, but still precious!) and Peter's difficult life is a joy. There are so many adorable moments in this fic--Aunt May doting on the kids was especially heart-warming!--and the ending is a delight and it's the perfect Halloween treat. *rolls around in love for this fic*
→ From a Seed by theorytale, tony/loki + avengers, NSFW, implied pregnant!loki, humor, 3k
Basicaly, Loki bursts into the avengers mansion and forces a potted plant into Tony's hands and says 'this is your child' and storms out. In which Tony finds himself in possession of a houseplant and so very, very many unanswered questions.
The prompt/summary for this fic had me immediately diving for this fic, because, well. And this is another fic that does an amazing job of capturing movieverse Tony's almost manic sort of humor, the hundred miles an hour commentary in words and thoughts, but all of it being so sharp and hilariously funny. It's Tony dealing with the weirdness of having slept with Loki, so now they have a child together, a potted plant that he becomes rather attached to, and I feel like a lesser author would not have made this work, but in this fic? Oh, it totally lives up to the potential of the idea. Plus, the ending is AMAZING. And perfect. So, so perfect. I was a little wary of reading a Tony/Loki fic, but I can't lie, I really kind of enjoyed it a lot and it was not unhot. *__*
→ Ice and Dust and Light by hannahrhen, tony/loki + thor, NSFW, pregnant!loki, 22k
Loki and Tony Stark negotiate a relationship after an accidental pregnancy (and this author's completely accidental mpreg!). Highlights include sweetness, angst, Thor being an adult, and, of course, copious amounts of lust.
Part 01-05: I tore through this entire series in one sitting, which is helped by how they're all 1 to 2k words long (and there are five stories, so there's just over 8k words here) but also because I just could not stop reading once I started. As someone who does recs, there's always a half-thought at the back of my mind for how I want to frame a rec while I'm reading, I'll take note of certain things I want to remember or that punched me in the feelings especially hard. This series, with each and every single one of these fics, there's at least that one line that I desperately wanted to quote because it made me crack the fuck up with sheer hilarity or because it was an especially good insight into the characters. I desperately wanted to quote them in order to draw more readers in, but I just... if I got started, I wouldn't be able to stop.
But I enjoyed this series for more than just the quotable lines (though, that was a delight), but also because the author does mix the occasional bit of angst in, yet without going over the top about it, it's more bittersweet than anything. Loki being basically tethered to Thor in his punishment, Thor being a caring and kind older brother who really is trying to help Loki and yet give him some space and respect him at the same time (which is only mentioned in the one fic, but I just adored that one for how clearly Thor loved his brother--but also Thor being a protective big brother in his own way! And Tony's recounting of how he figured out what was up with Loki by how Thor reacted! Perfect.), all of that was good for me. But also! Loki getting knocked up with Tony's kid is an interesting twist on the usual pregnant!Loki trope and he's so... Loki about it.
There's also a great scene in the second fic (which is chronologically set before the first, but you can read these in the order they're numbered) where Loki goes through all the possible people he could seduce to start using in his plans (choosing from the Avengers because he's got to make it at least interesting for himself a;lsdkfj;alks yes) and, despite that it was about him discarding them all as possibilities, it was lovely for the way it reminded me, yeah, wow, I actually do ship Loki with almost every single Avenger. Anyway, this is a series that comes in easily readable sized fics that make it way too easy to just go, "Oh... just one more....", they have a couple of sex scenes that are really hot and great imagery, and they have excellent, excellent dialogue. And a lot of feels all up inside me. I couldn't ask for more.
Part 06: Oh, this series continues to rapidly climb its way up my heart with everything it goes--this time, Tony notices that Loki's pregnant, but Loki hasn't said anything and things threaten to fall apart, but thankfully Thor's there just enough to nudge Tony back in the right direction. And you have no idea how perfect that makes this series for me. I love love love Tony/Loki when it comes with Thor support, a Thor who understands his brother pretty well and has this way of making you feel better, because Thor&Tony interaction is fucking excellent. And it makes the Tony&Loki interaction all the better, because they could be pretty fucked up on their own, especially when they both won't just say the things they should be saying, which says so much about their issues right there, so thorny and tangled on both sides (and I love that they're so similar here, but they're not just mirror images of each others' issues, which is how this pairing works best for me), they both get too tangled up in their own thoughts and sharp edges, which is beautifully done here.
I started reading this fic/series for the adorableness of knocked up!Loki, but I actually find that I love it just as much for the relationship and how it hits all my buttons in this universe. The characterization of Loki, so difficult to read, so many different and complicated reasons he has for the things he does and doesn't do (Loki not hiding the pregnancy, but not saying anything, either, is pitch perfect for him) is delicious and, oh, I could totally sit down and immediately read another 10k words of this.
Part 07: Oh, I adored this ridiculously. The author does such a beautiful job of balancing the thornier issues these characters have, the complicated relationship that of course they would have, and that it's not a tragedy full of angst. Loki is difficult to read and I love that this Tony doesn't really quite know how to handle it, but neither does he flail around like a bull in a china shop of emotional issues. I love love love this Tony and the way he doesn't quite know what to say, so instead focuses on other things, even as he's clearly thinking about Loki and their kid. That worked so well for me!
The other thing I love about this fic is that, as prickly and difficult as Loki is, he's a wonderful parent and their first child clearly adores him and, oh, my heart when the little moppet is sleeping on him or walking with him to the kitchen for a snack, it's just domestic enough to satisfy me. The ending is perfect as well, that moment that just touched my heart for how they're inching forward, how they'll get there eventually, but the journey is going to be difficult and not without its bumps. But sweet and wonderful at the same time. Best best best.
Part 08: There's pretty much nothing about this fic that I didn't love. Loki taking off to have their second kid, that Tony Lojacked him, that Tony goes after him, that there's banter laid over real feelings, that this pairing is just pure delight and charisma here. Oh, sure, I'm weak to Loki with kids, but it's the way the author has with the really sharp, genuinely clever and funny dialogue that isn't just hilarious but also gives insight into the characters, that's where the fic really sings for me. The summary lines are probably my favorite (so, so perfectly Tony) but the whole thing is just grand, they're so very easy to hear in RDJ's voice. Like, I can barely even do a servicable rec for it because it hits my joy buttons too cleanly and is one of those fics where I don't secretly pine for anything else. No, the Tony/Loki here is perfect. Well, okay, I lie. Uncle Thor helping them raise brothers (as they're both wary of being total shit at it and Thor's, like, a million times better by this point) was something I pined for. But, other than that? Perfection.
Part 09: Oh, this fic was really good for me. I snapped it up as soon as I was done reading the previous fic, intrigued by Tony and Loki's kid being taken and how they would react to it--which is one of those ideas that's so intriguing and has to be done with a careful and deft hand in order to measure up to the potential of the idea. And I really think this fic did that for me, especially with the set-up previous to the kidnapping, showing the boys' lives and how protective Loki was of them, but also how he appreciated what Tony and the rest of the Avengers brought to the table (and, oh, Thor being frustrated and angry that they weren't more public about how they were Loki's kids, but kept the secret because Loki agreed to it, it was just a tiny moment in the background, but that did my heart such good). I really love this dynamic and little family they're building here! But, oh, when Loki is ragingly furious at anyone who would dare harm his child, how he reacts to that, how Tony reacts to Loki's reaction--all of it is gorgeous and perfect. It's intense (and violent) and the way the author writes them here... there's all the usual stuff (hilarity and fantastic voices that allow me to picture RDJ and Tom Hiddleston wonderfully and babies!!) but also that this is how Tony and Loki work, for me. So satisfying and good.
Part 10: While I am sorry to see this series go (though, there is happily some potential for more bits and pieces in the timeline in places), this was a lovely, perfect end to one of my very favorites for this pairing. As much as I love Tony and Loki with the kids, I also love that the fic ends on the note that it does, where they're not sappy and it doesn't necessarily have to be a love story (except that maybe it kind of is and, oh, this is their love story that I want for them) and Loki may not have Tony forever, but it's real and important while it happens and I love that that's touched on in the fic because, yes, yes, that's how this pairing works for me here. Sometimes they can find a way around that in fic, but a lot of times they can't, so dealing with it can be difficult, but it's so, so perfect here, where the author strikes a balance between sweet and just a touch bittersweet. The focus in the end on that this mattered and that there was so much that came from their time together, yes, good, perfect.
That they have kids together, that they discuss having a third child, that Loki suggests, well, this time you deal with the pregnancy shit and Tony's reaction to that, all of that is just delicious, delicious bonus. This fic series started out by giving me Tony/Loki kids and I loved the FrostIron fandom all the more for that, but ultimately I loved their dynamic here, both in the way it was presented (the insights into their characters) and what it means to each of them in the scope of their lives, their lifespans being so drastically different. This is one of those writers who... everything just feels right, I feel settled and complete and satisfied with the Tony/Loki relationship when I read it here, and that is a wonderful feeling.
→ Featherling by RoAnshi, loki + avengers + possible steve/loki, pregnant!loki, miscarriage, 27k
While serving his sentence on Midgard, Loki unexpectedly finds himself in a "family way" - sort of.
Chapter 01-03: This fic is, as the author's notes say, set in a future time where Loki is working with the Avengers as part of his redemption and is still resentful about it, but not quite hissingly angry about it, which is set up in a previous fic that has yet to be written. But it's not hard at all to navigate this fic, it stands well on its own, so don't let that stop you from reading this one! Especially because... okay, I picked this one up because, oh, hey, Loki finds himself with child while on Midgard and it's a redemption fic. Yes, sign me up for that! Which I definitely enjoyed, but the fic also does the best thing for me in Loki Redemption fics--it balances his various relationships with the other Avengers as well as the personal stuff he's going through. This fic gives me everything I want, from Thor being an important presence in his life that Loki's still working to learn how to re-accept, to the solid friendship he has with Steve, to the bantering snarky friendship he has with Tony, to suddenly finding himself pregnant and it's such a weird one that doesn't follow any rules, not even ones Loki knows, to Loki still having that bite to his character and the sharp edges that I love so much about it.
The characters are all nicely written, this feels like all the characters I recognize, if set a couple of years into the future to give things time to settle a bit. And I love what the author did with Loki's pregnancy, how weird it is and how he himself is just as mystified about it as everyone else, how the author puts in so many little touches of how he handles it. There's a lot of thought given to the different details here, really, from Loki working with Tony on various projects to the kind of magic he is/isn't allowed to use, and it's worked well into the fic. And, oh, Loki with his babies and how being protective of them and loving them so passionately doesn't take away from that he's a smirky little shit who deliberately grates on people's nerves and that is such a good Loki for me. I'm saddened that there are only three chapters as of the time of this rec, I would have liked to have kept reading the whole thing through because it's so delightfully well written, but it's over 15k words at this point and basically EVERYTHING I WANT OUT OF LOKI REDEMPTION + LOKI&KIDS FIC.
Chapter 04-05: I've been catching up on some of the fics I've been reading and I saw this one had two new chapters and totally did that ridiculous clapping my hands with delight thing because I really enjoy this one and Loki's interaction with the Avengers and his complicated relationship with Thor and his developing friendship with Steve and seeing him as a parent. All of these things were well done in these two chapters and I really enjoy the way this author is writing Loki as a parent and the way he uses magic, but I think I was most especially delighted by Thor being totally territorial over his right as Loki's child's uncle. Yes, give me all the feelings of Thor being an adoring, doting uncle (and doting brother to Loki, when Loki will accept it) and being all NO MINE when Loki asks Steve to look after his daughter as well.
But there are also many other things I loved! There's at least one line that made me giggle out loud, Thor and Loki's reactions to his daughter are perfect, and Pepper is fucking awesome and she makes the world a better place in this fic. I love love loved that Loki's daughter already has a personality going, her interaction with Clint is hilarious (well, less so on Clint's side, who is a real dick to a child here, but I can also see his issues, so I don't entirely hate him, just that he deserves what he gets), though I hope that part is over or that Thor (or Steve) won't put up with any more of it.
Overall, this fic continues to be a really great balance between genuine emotional moments and silly humor that's kind of cracky, but those two elements work together wonderfully here. I'd have loved it just for the Thor&Loki interaction or the Steve&Loki friendship, but getting Loki with a baby just makes it that mucht more delightful. Ugh, I need more of this one soon.
→ Feathering the Nest by Lunik, thor & loki + avengers, pregnant!loki, nesting!loki, 1.3k
The Avengers are used to some odd behavior from the local chaos god. But when Thor starts to join in? This is just getting weird.
Oh, god, my face hurts after reading this fic, because I'm smiling so hard. Nesting!Loki yes yes yes do it do it doooo itttttt, I want ALL THE NESTING FIC, especially when Tony and Steve have no idea wtf to make of Loki's odd behavior and then Thor just starts beaming and joins in the odd behavior and, oh, I could just roll around in this fic forever. It's so good-natured and happy and adorable and fills me with sunshiney and joy.
→ Lily and June by melonbutterfly, tony/loki + thor, pregnant!loki, 6.7k
They had prepared for this very thoroughly – which should have been the first indication that things wouldn't go as planned.
This was totally adorable and you can read it as a standalone, all you need to know is that Loki is expecting and it's going to be soon. Very soon. It happily embraces the trope of pregnant!Loki and how high maintenance he is and the fluffiness of bringing babies into this world and how he's still a little shit even when he's mellowed and settled down a lot. I was also pleased at Thor's presence in the beginning of the fic, how Loki may be prickly and condescending, but you can still feel his reassurance at Thor being there, even when Thor doesn't really know what to do with someone about to give birth. It adds to the sense of family that Loki's built here, that he has such a happy relationship with Tony and his relationship with Thor is being slowly patched up and now he'll have children in his life and it's just. Fluffy and adorable and good for me.
→ Loki and the Tentacles by Ryoko21, tentacles/loki, NSFW, dub-con/non-con, drugging, pregnant!loki, 3.5k
So Loki falls from the bridge and he falls for a long, long time, and then he lands… just not anywhere near the Chitauri. Instead, he lands on some desolated planet that, at first, seems abandoned… until Loki runs into a tentacle monster. Tentacle rape ensues.
I had a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ride with this fic, which is basically went as such: "Whoa, Loki tentacle monster fic, let me at that! Hey, wait, why are you giving him broken limbs, that's not sexy-- Oh, wow, bless you for fixing that-- Hey, is the tentacle monster... wow, that is the most considerate lover tentacle monster I have ever seen! THIS IS THE GREATEST." It really was the greatest thing I read all day, the fic knowing how to just whole-heartedly embrace the concept of Loki landing on a seemingly deserted world, being snatched up by a bunch of tentacles and then just... it's hilarious (the tentacle monster heals him and gets him to feel good and sucks him off while slithering inside him and just... asd;lfkjalskj) but it's also actually really hot at the same time. It's one of those things that has to be carefully done, not too serious or too cracky, but this fic manages it in such an excellent way. This was great.
→ Need You Now by L Jerome, loki + tony + steve, pregnant!loki, 3.1k
Coming across Loki as they heading home that night from dinner was the last thing Steve Rogers and Tony Stark had expected. Finding him pregnant and in labor...even more so.
I continue to need happy things to cheer me up. Well, not that this is precisely a happy fic, but it is a fluffy-ish one, where Steve and Tony come across Loki who is about to go into labor and, naturally, that means they get trapped in an enclosed space and have to help deliver the baby. Fuck yes, I jumped on that fic as soon as I saw the summary because I have needs, okay. It's about exactly what I expected and it's cute and has a prickly Loki being put in a situation where he has to depend on other people for awhile and they see he's not entirely bad and LOKI WITH A BABY, I'm pretty sure I'm going to read every fic with parent!Loki that exists eventually. This totally helped my mood today.
→ 5 Times Tony Tells Loki: No Babies! But One Time.. by LokkaNightNyx, tony/loki, NSFW, pregnant!loki, humor, 3.3k
Loki wants to have kids. Tony says no. Loki persists. And pouts. And persists some more.
As mentioned, I was having a bit of a moody, crappy day, so when a fun, cracky, light-hearted fic comes along where Loki is trying to get Tony to knock him up? Yes, give! Give now! And it was exactly what I needed to make my night better, because I smiled my entire way through the fic and just had fun with it. The author did it in a 5+1 style, so it was five different ways Loki came at Tony (and Tony was like oh fuck no that is not happening) and, oh, I love Loki being the greatest little shit ever. It's definitely cracky, so it won't appeal to everyone, but it was cute and delightful and super charming. I adored it.
→ Crimson Tide by earzwideopen, loki + thor + other asgardians, pregnant!loki, humor, 1.4k
Loki reclined on his bed atop a mountainous mass of satin sheets and pillows – all green with gold trim and clumped haphazardly around the pregnant god. Pregnant being, in this case, a gross understatement.
I am always pretty easy when it comes to Loki dealing with pregnancy hormones, because he usually does so in such grand ways. And, oh, this one is totally cracky but absolutely, utterly delightful, especially becuase Loki is an evil little shit about making everyone else's lives miserable because he has an excuse to now. The fic is short, it oscilates between Loki's current pregnancy and the dealing with periods, adding in bonus lolz with Thor trying so hard to be supportive but Loki's not making it easy and then discussion of periods with Sif and a;sdlkfja;lksjl;as this was so completely the thing I needed today!
→ Extremely Hot And Currently Female by copperbadge, tony/loki + background steve/pepper + other asgardians, nsfw, genderfluid!loki, fem!loki, pregnant!loki
Tony knows he shouldn't sleep with Loki, it's just sometimes he's drunk and she's female and he forgets why.
So, this fic rounded out my reading last night and I can't tell you how great it was to have two fics that were each close to 20k words long and both gorgeously written, it's so satisfying when you can just curl up for awhile before bed and read about 40k of fic that's completely engrossing and a joy to read. But, then, I often like copperbadge's writing, so I was super intrigued by the promise of a Tony/Loki fic, especially with the tags on this one and, oh, I was not disappointed. This is set from Tony's point of view, which means there's a lot of really hilarious commentary or interjections, especially because Loki is so complicated and Tony's complicated, too. The fic does a gorgeous job of showing the complications between the two of them, how they will never really have a smooth relationship, not even when things do eventually smooth out.
But it wasn't just that it was a good Tony/Loki fic (though, it was that, too), it was much bigger in scope than that. The fic pulls in elements of the comics as well (the Young Avengers make appearances towards the end, there are references to Children's Crusade and Civil War) to give a bigger picture of what happens as their lives go onwards. Even then it was still more than that, with the way Loki's gender was entirely fluid here and I love that so much. I love that it's just part of who Loki is, whether she's female or whether he's male, it's still always Loki and the complicated relationships the character has with people. It's also baby fic and Loki interacting with the Avengers and the next generation of Avengers and fantastic sass and yet genuine emotions and, oh my god, this fic had Tony going to Asgard to meet the in-laws and being so Tony about it, right to Odin's face and I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW AMAZING THAT WAS. Like, if you didn't see what made Loki interested in Tony before that or why their relationship worked, the scenes on Asgard were so perfect that they would have convinced me all over again.
→ Free by lies_d, svadilfari/loki + thor + odin, mildly nsfw, pregnant!loki, horse sex, 7k
<When Thor captures Svadilfari, Odin won't free him unless Loki breeds with him again.
The fic is a lovely mix of Loki characterization, world building, and so much bittersweetness. Some things are lovely (especially Thor's involvement, the way Loki has some things that bring him a lightening of his heart) and some things are painful (the life that Loki often finds himself living in), the balance between animal and intelligent beings is especially well done and... it's difficult to describe this fic, other than to say the writer is terribly talented and I was sucked into this fic like you wouldn't believe. But most especially I love that this Thor is protective of Loki, he's not an asshole here, even if he's difficult to tolerate sometimes, Loki loves him for a reason, which we see here. I love this Thor rather desperately, even when he's a secondary character in the fic.
→ No Barren Moon by theorytale, loki + avengers, NSFW, violence, torture, suicidal ideation, miscarriage, pregnant!loki, 9.7k
Based (somewhat loosely) on a prompt at Norsekink.
The Chitauri twisted Loki's magic and forced him to become pregnant, but the fetus was killed during the New York battle. As Loki's plans are dashed one after the other, he keeps struggling to come up with a way to escape what's coming.
Or: gratuitous Loki whump.
This is going to be a very difficult rec for me to write, because I am torn between the two things I usually try to balance in a rec--writing one that is meant to tell why someone should read the fic and using the rec to vomit up my feelings after having read the fic. With most fic, I'm excited to have someone else read the story with me, and that's true enough here, but I also feel an intense urge to examine this fic with a fine-toothed comb in a way that's really only interesting after you've read it. In a way, I'm using that feeling as the rec itself, because there are few fics that I'm willing to read that can affect me this greatly--and if this fic had been any less brilliantly written, I do not think I would have been able to stomach it. It is indeed gratuitous Loki whump and it's incredibly difficult to read at times, but the writer is careful to stay true to the characters in both good ways and bad ways, as well as ending the fic on a note that I could at least tolerate.
It is a very difficult and unhappy fic throughout most of it, but brilliantly written. Importantly, for me, I feel like there was a point to all of the suffering and pain here, if only for how well it molds to the canon we saw and fits together with it (if much darker than canon), for how it wasn't about pain for pain's sake, but genuine exploration of character. There was a point to it in that I want to take this fic apart and examine all the little pieces of it in the same way I want to do with the movie, how I feel like the author truly thought everything through here, for all characters. But still. Keep something happy onhand for afterwards if you're like me.
That said, I am going to give in to my urge to talk about the fic post-fic style instead of luring people in because I want to work my way through this jumbling of feelings inside me. But that means there will be SPOILERS for the fic beyond this point! The characterization of everyone here is stunning, the most central of which being Loki, as he is so damaged and deranged and terrified of what the Other (and Thanos) would do to him, what they've put him through (torture and assault and violation of every kind, as they've completely unmade him, the writing capturing that so horrifyingly well in flashbacks and little turns of thought and half-thought back on scenes), but also the other characters. Natasha shines well, as someone who probably knows more of what has been done here, but that does not make her suddenly crumble in sympathy. Tony and Clint aren't suddenly sympathetic, either, and as much as I might secretly wish they were, because my heart was being rent, it was the only way the fic could go.
The two stars of this fic were the horrifying pain Loki was put through and how this affects his relationship with Thor, the brilliant way the author has Loki leading him through the slow realization of how Odin may well have let this happen, because it was easier this way. The sharpness of his thoughts, all that rage and anger and pain, yet you could still feel how much he loved Thor, but refused to let himself feel it or turn to Thor for help, both because of what the Chitauri had done to him and because he couldn't let himself believe that Thor could ever protect him again. And, when Thor makes the decision he makes in this fic... oh, it would be so easy to be angry with Thor, for what is basically yet another violation of Loki's agency and autonomy, because he took Loki's choices away from him, but... the fic also took great care to show that Loki was twisting everything around him, that he went to incredible lengths to hide what was happening with him. I thought it clear that Thor had no idea what he was dealing with, that he had no idea what taking that choice from Loki meant. And I have trouble being angry with someone for wanting to save their loved one's life, when it's clear that loved one is not in their right mind (and Loki very clearly isn't), when everything seems to point to Loki being simply unable to make good choices for himself. I think of how I would react in Thor's position, whether I could let a loved one suffer and die, when they weren't in their right mind to make the decision for themselves.
But the fic doesn't make excuses for anyone here, because it's all about complicated people in complicated situations and no one has all the information, except maybe Loki, and he's too far gone and in too much trouble to be able to say. Loki is an unreliable narrator, he has his own issues tangled up in this story, sometimes insightful and sometimes biased (oh, the line about it always being Thor's turn was so hurtful because it wasn't untrue), but he is also brilliant, and the author takes care to balance all of these aspects together in a rather breathtaking sort of way. Everything is sharp and brilliant here, the author clearly had a strong grasp of everything that needed to be put into the fic, so that it wasn't terribly weighted in one direction or the other, aside from that this was centered on Loki's character. It's a fic that genuinely had me torn between letting Loki kill himself/just die from the internal bleeding and wanting him to just let go of his horror and fear and be able to genuinely get help. Everything that this fic needed to be, the author got in here, I had every reaction I was supposed to. It was a painful read, but one I'm not sorry I put myself through.